Italy: The good, the bad, and the ugly

I know that I've commented on many different aspects of the Italian society and culture in my blog. However, I don't feel as if I've taken the time to address certain aspects of life in Italy that really stand out and that have made my experience here different than if I had stayed in another country, or even in another city in Italy.
First, I will start with one of the most important, significant, symbolic... well you get the idea... elements of Italian culture.
FOOD
I didn't have to take a food cultures/history class here (no not a cooking class) to learn how important food is to Italian culture. It's obvious everywhere in Italy, from restaurants to grocery stores to dinners at home-- even those cooked by us Americans pretending to be Italians. I've already gotten comments about how my blog entries mentioning the food here has made mouths water and stomachs grumble (sorry Evan) . Well let me tell you, my stories hold no exaggerations. The food here is basically the best food I have ever had in my entire life. Grocery shopping at home will never be there same, for instance. Here, grocery stores are small and hard to come by, they are also often closed and not very well stocked. However, when you buy something even as simple as tomatoes, you are guaranteed the freshest produce, grown right here in Italy-- possibly even a short distance from where I will be putting it on my shelf or in my fridge. Regular food here in Italy is almost as organic as the foods found in the organic section in the Harris Teeter, however, they don't need the label of organic produce. There are actual labels of organic produce here, though I'm not sure how much more organic they could possibly be... they were surely grown completely without pesticides/fertilizers and in farms solely for the purpose of organic produce. There are even organic markets the first Saturday of every month, celebrating the idea of organic foods, materials, clothes, everything- you name it.
I'm not sure how much I've discussed the actual food concept of meals either- with the aperitivo (appetizers), primo piatti (first dish- usually pasta), secondo piatti (second dish- usually meat), and then sides (sorry I forgot the Italian term), ensalate (salad- yes at the end), cafe, dolce (dessert), grappa (ew). Of course, you don't always get every plate, usually just one and dessert, sometimes two-- all depends on where you're eating and how much money you have ;) And as I've found from eating with Italians, dinners in the actual Italian homes do not usually consist of many courses unless it is a special occasion. Italians also love their coffee and have very specific unwritten laws about them, so if you are planning on visiting this country you must know these rules- unless you are like most of us, who by now just shrug off the whole Italian eye roll considering there are so many problems with their dumb rules. For example, the main rule is that you must drink cappuccino before the afternoon. It is only a morning/breakfast beverage and cannot be drank any later because of the milk content. Italians then drink cafe (espresso) later in the day. The faulty logic? Italians eat tiramisu for dessert all the time- a very milk heavy dessert... if milk is bad to drink later in the day, then why the heck do they eat tiramisu for dessert??? (this is something my food teacher complained about a lot). Wine is another huge part of the Italian culture, as most of you are aware. However, you never really realize how big it is until you're in a restaurant and see a five year old drinking a small glass of wine with dinner- but only table wine is really big in Italy, not fine wines. Wine is cheap and easy to come by, and usually pretty good (according to people who actually like wine) especially since it is all locally grown. So basically, Italians like their food and drinks but they are unbelievably skinny, and this comes to the next very important culture aspect of Italy.
FASHION
Before leaving for Italy, my mom was pretty scared for me, considering I dress pretty casual- and by casual I mean jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers- all the time, every day, etc. So she dragged me out shopping and we bought a lot of nice clothing, including nice black shoes- which I did wear but as for my suit *cough* that will have to wait for some more business deals to go down in order to wear it... or maybe just a few group presentations at Elon or some such thing. However, as worried as my mom was about the fashion here in Italy- she was right for the most part. Clothes are huge here, and Italian girls/women/boys/men tend to all blend together into one specific person based on clothing choice. I'll never forget my first few weeks in Perugia, walking to class and seeing the mobs of look-alikes wandering down the streets. All the girls look like clones of one person and all the guys look the same as well. They all wear whatever is the fashion trend, not matter the actual weather outside. For example, in March when we had some nice days they would still be out in pants, long sleeves, and JACKETS. You may be asking yourselves, are those Italians crazy. My answer? Yes.
Italian clothes are also pretty expensive (except for on shopping street in Perugia and a few other random stores where you can buy very reasonable clothes). The logic here is that the clothes are made with higher quality materials and are expected to last longer after many wears- i.e. Italians wear the same clothes day after day (they also don't take as many showers, but more on that later).
They are also kind of scary for a few reasons. Let's think about this: They eat so many carbs and yet can fit into these tiny tiny little clothes. That's really saying something. Is it that they exercise more? I'm not all that sure, although I can tell you the hike to and from my apartment every day has definitely toned my leg muscles... yet I would never be able to wear what would be a typical size in Italian women clothes- in fact, its pretty hard to find pants here unless you are a stick. This also goes for men, as the Italian boys/men wear their pants quite tight and it makes it quite awkward when they decided to get up in your face- another characteristic of Italian living. But moving on... Italians are scary because they judge you as they pass by. They give you the top down stare and basically give you a score based on the way they shake their perfectly razored long dark hair and put their hand on their pretty nonexistent hips. The Italian men stare at you through their GIANT sunglasses and think "hooray an American" and I just walk on by, not so oblivious anymore- but after four months, just completely immune and quite frankly, who cares anyway?
I have no idea how those Italian women walk up the massive hills of Perugia in their heels and giant boots. I have no idea why they still continue to wear sweaters AND jackets when it is almost 70 degrees outside. I have no idea how they breathe in their tight clothes or how they can eat so much and still fit in their tight clothes. It's all just a mystery I guess... unlike the men of Italy who are no longer a mystery, but more of an annoyance.
ITALIAN MEN
As I am a girl I will write about Italian men. There is not much to say about Italian women except that they dress incredibly well and look absolutely gorgeous even if they are going outside to water the plants or throw out the trash. Italian men however, besides wearing tight tight pants and GIANT (no really THEY ARE HUGE) sunglasses ALL THE TIME, like to bother women, especially American women. This is because they have obviously given up on the Italian women who are way too cool for them and who are also used to their annoying cat calls and touching and following us at all hours of the day (I'm talking 3:00 in the afternoon here). It went from strange, to weird, to annoying, to creepy... now it's just old. I can't wait to get back to America where I will be ignored. You think you've heard weird stories about Italian men, but you don't know what it's like till you are actually here. They just have NO SHAME. They will walk up to you and ask if you speak English, where you are from, and maybe if you can send a postcard to them? "What your address?" Their broken English starts off being cute, then turns annoying and you KNOW they just used the same lines maybe 20 minutes ago on some smart girl that kept walking away. The Italian women are so used to this that they don't give them the light of day, so the men of course, go for us dumb American girls who have no idea that we will be followed and cat called constantly. Based on our clothes choices, we stick out like a sore thumb (that expression is weird) and unfortunately unless you have dark hair, look semi-Italian, and walk with the "don't mess with me face" (i.e. me) you are subject to these bothersome guys.
But you may be wondering, why is all the attention so bad anyway? Aren't Italian men gorgeous? Well, first of all most of these guys still live with their parents. In fact, in Italy, momma's boys are not only widespread, they are actually widely accepted by society. They are called "mammoni" and for the most part live at home until they are in their late 30's. According to my professor, because times in Italy are hard, especially since people don't make that much money since they don't work that much (see WORK) they often live at home because it saves them money. He also said it is a helping situation and that they help out at home (a likely story) in return for staying there. My opinion: they stay at home because they're lazy and because they can. So unless you are interested in one of these strapping young men who expect you to be just like mommy, I would suggest you keep on walking. Italian men are also incredibly sexist, not only because they are men (ha) but because it is all part of the culture as well. They live with their parents, and their mothers do everything for them- thus they expect girls they date to be the same. This brings me to the subject of dating in Italy.
DATING
It's hard enough to understand dating in the United States, with all the unspoken rules and such between men and women. Well, imagine having all those rules to follow while also having new mysterious dating rules at work in a strange new European country. As I've seen and heard about through others (no first hand experiences here), dating in Italy is basically a huge free for all- especially when it comes to the men. In Italy, nothing matters unless you are married. They tell us girls the most important phrase to know in Italy is "sono sposata"- "I'm married". These two magic words are supposed to wear off those men I mentioned in the previous section. However, this sometimes doesn't even work. Men in Italy have no concept of monogamy nor do they have any concept of a steady relationship. Guys here ask us if we have boyfriends and home and we always say yes just to TRY to get them to leave us alone, but even that doesn't work. We always get the response, oh but no boyfriend in Italy? As if this is okay. But... in Italy it is. Dating is such a loose term here, which makes me laugh because Italian couples act so passionate in public and you'd think they were madly in love, but most likely this is the story: They publicly announce that they are dating but in reality the man has another girlfriend and the girl has another boyfriend. They might carry this on for quite some time. I am dead serious. The most amusing thing to see is guys checking out girls EVEN WHEN THEY ARE OUT WITH THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. This is why they wear the HUGE dark sunglasses, so their girlfriends don't see them. This is my theory at least. Also, PDA in Italy, as you might have figured out is not only everywhere, but it is absolutely disgusting. Italians truly have no shame, and I have seen the craziest things on park benches.
WORK
Working is a fun thing to talk about with Italians, especially ones our age. In America, we are used to working summer jobs and even jobs while at school, sometimes more than one. Us American college kids strangely enough have great work ethic and can sometimes hold up for 30 or even 40 hours a week. This AMAZES Italians. Here in Italy, Italians do not work while they are in school. This brings back the whole idea of the mammoni idea, because boys don't work, they have no money so they live at home. Also, Italians don't work as many hours as we do in America. Things just aren't open as long (due to things like la pausa- see TIME) and payment isn't that great. However, waitressing here is interesting because they get paid normal wages and don't make tips. You don't tip in Italy because there is a table charge which is sometimes 1 or 2 euros and is basically the equivalent of a tip. This took a while to get used to considering I am not only used to tipping, but after working in a waitress last semester it is a weird concept to think about. But as for other jobs, it makes me laugh because living in Italy often reminds me of a whole other world- solely for their work ethic. I can't imagine doing business with Italians overseas or any type of trading deals, considering their constant breaks and minimal work ethic. No wonder their cinema business is failing so badly. But that's another story.
TIME
Time doesn't exist in Italy. I've lived here for four months and I can tell you with a straight face that Italians have absolutely NO CONCEPT OF TIME. They are always late and actually, to them, it isn't a problem, nor is it even considered "late". They don't seem to care, because EVERYONE is late. Things will run over the allotted time (i.e. class) and no one notices. In relation to the whole business deal situation, I can't imagine doing business deals because the combination of minimal work ethic and no concept of time must mean terrible communication and an incredibly misunderstanding between Italy and other countries (i.e. The United States).
Living here has opened my eyes to several new ways to live life, however, as a person who must always be on time- this is one thing I have not, and will not understand.
However, the flow of time also has more meaning for Italians and this is something that I have not only come to understand, but now love and will dearly miss. For instance, getting coffee doesn't have to happen in five minutes: in and out at your local Dunkin Donuts- or even a minute: up to the Starbucks (yuck) drive through window and then on with your life. No, here in Italy, drinking coffee is an art. It is a time for relaxation and for thought. And I'm not talking about comfy couches and jazz music playing (although Cafe Morlacchi is good for this kind of atmosphere). I'm talking about standing at a bar and taking a break. Drinking coffee in Italy is a daily routine, and Italians literally must schedule it in in their brains (they may have no concept of time but they certainly have a concept of drinking coffee) because the same people are at the same bars day after day. Standing there, drinking away, and chatting with the barrista.
Another food related time example occurs in restaurants. In Italy, waiters/waitresses don't automatically bring the check. They leave you alone and wait until you ask for it. You can sit and enjoy dinner or just the company of friends/family for as long as you want. They don't push you along with dinner or try to kick you out. Italians tend to have very slow and long out dinners (probably because of all the food consumed) and it's nice because they actually take the time to make dinner something more than just a quick fast food meal before returning to work. These are the things that I will miss about Italy and notice immediately upon returning to the United States.
One thing I will not miss, but that is essential to the Italian lifestyle is the 3-4 hour break during the day known as la pausa. This also existed in Spain but was not quite as noticeable because we didn't have to go grocery shopping. During pausa, EVERYTHING closes so that people can go home and have a 3-4 hour lunch. This can be quite annoying considering it happens from around 12-4 and if you are out of food, there is basically nothing you can do. This sometimes was incredibly stressful especially when travelling. Imagine arriving to a town after travelling 3 hours and realizing that NOTHING IS OPEN. There were many towns where we wandered around for a few hours trying to desperately find a place to eat or something interesting to see.
While it is still sometimes hard for me to understand how Italians can be so laid back and slow with many things (and always late), their lifestyle makes life so much more enjoyable. In the United States everything always feels so rushed and insignificant. Nothing holds any importance in life and things always have to be fast and perfect. No 5 hour dinners made with friends over stupid conversation and maybe a burnt dessert. No dinners out at an amazing restaurant where it takes a good hour to get something that could have probably been made in a few minutes. Americans truly have no patience for these things whereas Italians savor them. Taking the time to appreciate even the little things around you is easy to do in such a beautiful country and city where the landscapes and skies are always new and the architecture is ages old. But I'm sure we can do that even in America, land of the free, and possibly the most rushed society ever.
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION
Remember when I said that time doesn't exist in Italy? Well this also applies to the public transportation schedules. Trains, buses, planes... nothing seems to run on time. Not to mention the time schedules are incredibly hard to follow and sometimes at weird hours you have to take a bus instead of a train... see previous entries for that fun story. Public transportation here in Italy is truly the only way to get anywhere. And the fact that we don't have cars and I became terrified of renting a Vespa because of the fact that a few Umbra kids fell of their rented Vespas and one of them was on crutches (although he's a moron anyway).
With all our traveling in Italy, it was difficult to not appreciate the transportation in Italy for its price and efficiency—for the most part. There were also times when we all never wanted to hear the word “Trenitalia” again or have to ask “what bin are we leaving from?”. Trains in Italy are not exactly the most beautiful forms of transportation either and I’m pretty sure most of them are from the 70’s with their weird plaid seat covers and faint musty smell. The grafitti that sometimes coats the windows and outer walls of the trains confirms this.
Trains aside, I am far less impressed by Italy’s bus system. Incredibly difficult to navigate and always understand, the buses are annoying enough because they are late and at times full to capacity so the ride is nothing but tight and uncomfortable. The bus ride to the center of Perugia is comparable to a boat ride on choppy water (boat ride to Capri anyone?), climbing the narrow windy pathways up to the top. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have fallen over on the bus, usually on an innocent bystander. The buses also do not stop for you, even if you have your arm outstretched, which leads me to believe there is some kind of secret signal that only the inhabitants of Perugia and the bus drivers know. Not only do they not stop for you when you are at the bus stop, they don't stop for you when you're crossing the street. Buses sometimes would drive up on the sidewalks because they make crappy turns and I've almost gotten hit a few times just walking home minding my own business. Not to mention the countless times I've almost been hit by a car or vespa on the narrow streets of Perugia- I still don't understand how or why anyone would want to drive in my city. My street is a dead end and when cars go down to a certain point, they end up driving backwards all the way back-- and not slowly either! It's ridiculous. Taxi rides are just as scary, almost as bad as NYC taxi rides. I think I only rode in a car twice the entire 4 months I spent in Italy, if you don't count taxis. Walking is truly the only way for students to get around, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's all I can think of now, but I'm sure if there's any other culture aspects I will definetely bring them to light in this entry. I am now back in the United States, trying to organize all the things I brought back from Italy and get ready to go to Elon to see all my friends.
Italy was one of the most incredible experiences of my life and I would never want to forget a single moment of the four months that I lived there. I hope you have all enjoyed my blog and my memories and until we meet again... a presto!